11 Thoughts for Homeschooling Struggling Children

From a Family Who Knows This Journey Too!

If you were to call me up and ask for help with a struggling child, these are some of the questions I might toss your way as our conversation got underway.

What Do You Mean by "Struggling"?

If you tell me that your child stomps his foot and walks away when you mention it's almost school time, I will have a different answer than I will for the child who cries because his math is too complex or the 10-year-old who cannot seem to grasp phonics. Each child is struggling, but the answers must vary! So, as you go through my questions here, please disregard any that don't apply, and always feel free to reach out to us with a more specific question.

1. Investigate Root Issues

Is every visual task a challenge? Consider a thorough eye and tracking exam. Perhaps phonics are a struggle. How's his hearing? We've had sad, grumpy children respond to addressing underlying health issues like undiagnosed stomach pain, untreated sleep challenges, or vitamin deficiencies. (Don't worry. We aren't about to start preaching certain supplements—but if the idea to consider things like this has never occurred to you, our story may be helpful!) We've also had children whose anxiety or ADHD made it incredibly hard to focus. Knowing why something is a struggle may open up new ideas for solving the problem.

2. Embrace Repetition

Does doing more reps solve the problem? If your child finds that a single page of math isn't enough to cement the concept, what if you assign two pages? Or if reading is the issue, could you go back to square one with a different program and get a different result?

3. Check His Memory

If you ask him to repeat back random letters or digits, how many can he accurately imitate (e.g., "7, A, Y, 2")? Do this orally to check auditory memory/processing and visually to assess his visual processing/memory.

You generally want to see 7 digits or more in ages 7+. Any less than that, and you may have found a huge clue as to what skill to work on!

4. Back Up

While you could continue with math work that is on grade and explain each component over and over, it is highly likely that your student will advance much faster if he starts over with the basics and races through. And he'll do that with less strain on your relationship and less stress for either of you. The same applies to many subjects, particularly if you were not the one who was teaching him when he was at a previous level or if you now know that the old program wasn't using the approach best suited for him.

5. Check Engagement

Is it possible that this is a motivational issue? Even if that is not the primary issue, motivation may help. We have some children who struggle academically due to early life trauma. Rather than throwing up our hands, it has been very helpful to realize that, yes, he will work harder at this than his peers might, so he may also need a bigger carrot than his peers. If you pull out all the stops for a week, does that help at all?

6. Really Invest in His Learning Style

How does your child learn best? If he needs auditory repetition, can you record the lesson for him to play back or choose an audio-based course? Or if he's hands-on, make sure you pull out the manipulatives every time for now. Not sure? Take some time to study the skills he has mastered and how he learned them.

7. Make Accommodations

Just as you might do for your gifted child, you want to be careful that a weakness in one area doesn’t impede his progress in other ways. For instance, a child may struggle with writing because his brain works much faster than his hands. While we still encourage such a child to work on handwriting skills, we will probably also get him started on typing (TTRS can be very helpful!) and allow him to complete writing assignments on the computer. This lets him continue to build his writing skills instead of holding him back because of his lack of handwriting speed.

For your ADHD child, this may look like installing a trampoline in your dining room and encouraging short breaks to calm his system. What might make this better for him? How do you get there?

8. Timers

We are an ADHD-type household, and one huge impact this has is on time management. Rather than stressing over lost time, a visual timer has helped us all. Your student can race the timer, enjoy a special privilege if he beats it, or receive practice work if he chooses to daydream instead of work.

9. Emphasize Humility and Service

Just like your gifted child, your struggling child will be much healthier (and happier!) if he realizes these 3 things:

• His identity is never found in his brainpower.
• He is indeed gifted in some areas. (Help him find these!)
• His gifts are not for himself alone but for serving others, and he is excellent at that.

Encourage his learning, but don’t forget to cultivate his character. In 10 years, his response to rebuke will be much more telling than his test score this year, so don’t put an inordinate amount of stress on intellectual pursuits.

10. Tutors

You aren't abdicating your role as a teacher if you realize that separating parenting from math would be helpful for your teen right now!

11. Relax!

When your child is an adult in the real world, it won't matter if he learned to read at age 2 or 12. Yes, you want to make progress toward your academic goals, but there is no time limit here!

Living life also equals learning, so engage him in farming, volunteering, swim class, or whatever doors are open, knowing that these are not lesser activities but part of the real work of education. As mentioned elsewhere, our own family found that some of our best test scores came after a year off of most formal schooling. Not what we would have planned, but a very valuable insight.